Who's Who in "The League"

Now most of you know of the epic show The League, all of you who haven’t seen said show (mark) should A. Watch the goddamn show B. THROW YOURSELF OFF A BRIDGE. The interesting part about this show is that the five main male characters in the show are exactly like us. In short I believe that Sam would watch a sex tape of Mark and his wife. HERE WE GO!

1. Graham is Taco
I’m not going to say the word stoner, OOPS! Said it, no shit he’s a little clueless, a little bit of a space cadet but he’s ours. We put up with the fact that he picked Roddy White cause… we need him? He can’t sing/rap but that will come, but neither can Taco.

 Graham

Taco

2. Mark is Pete

Pete like Mark eat, breaths, sleep fantasy football, so much that one day mark my ruin his marriage over it… very possible. Not to mention that both have the exact same style choices. Shirts a little too small, cargo shorts yet magically they know everything about football and are willing to lay everything on the line to win.

 Freddie Mercury

Pete

3. Sam is Andre

Sam before you go all ape shit, I bring up a lot of good point if you just listen. Like you like Andre will only win if you bone a girl with the same name as the trophy. Good luck finding Miss Hardship. Plus to add to that impeccable reasoning they both have the same hat. I will admit that besides that hat Sam has a better sense of style and teeth.

 Sam

Andre

4. Britton is Ruxin

He’s manipulative, maybe evil and possibly Jewish (Britton edits this, I'm possibly not). Both have long drawn extreme insults that are kinda funny but scarier for the main fact that one human being could think up such a fucked statement.

 Britton

Ruxin

5. Pags is Kevin

Though I’m not commish or have a wife that secretly controls my team... Or do I? Kevin and I are one in the same we are both good at the game, but bad luck seems to strike us when it counts. That’s about all I got sadly.

 "Jack I want you to draw me like one of your French girls."

Kevin

That’s it for who’s who in "The League." If you don’t agree or have any other suggestions for TV/movies that relate to us please send in the chat.

Preseason Power Rankings

In 7 days, it's the first SSSSSUUUUUNNNNNDDDDDAAAAAYYYYY FFFFFUUUUUNNNNNDDDDDAAAAAYYYYY SSSSSUUUUUNNNNNDDDDDAAAAAYYYYY. Now, ESPN doesn't do preseason rankings, so I asked you guys to vote. It was pretty much unanimous. We didn't even need Graham and Sam to vote. 

1. Schmidt Happens
Mark would put himself at #1. But he's got the right too, since he had a pretty solid draft. He's relying heavily on star power, drafting McCoy and Rodgers along with the best TE in the game, Jimmy Graham. The only thing I'm skeptical on is his WRs, but I feel like he's got it figured out.

2. The Barth Knight Rises
A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So, we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away. 

Some men just wanna watch the world burn.

3. Good Fellas
Last years runner up made a solid lineup at the draft, but lacked at the WR position. He fixed that, getting Alshon Jeffery but losing RB Eddie Lacy. Fear not, as he also owns Arian Foster and Leveon Bell. He went balls in at the QB position however, picking a risky Matthew Stafford. Oh, and he's got Gronk. He's got an injury prone team, but if they don't all snap their own necks, he should be a force in the league.

4. Far Out!
He owns the greatest team name ever, however, he's weak at WR after trading Alshon Jeffery. But in that trade he got Eddie Lacy, making a solid tandem at RB with Forte and Lacy. He's also got MVP runner up in Drew Brees, helping him out at the weak WR spot. Who knows, maybe Roddy White will have a monster year.

5. Dank Sinatra
Sam looked strong out of the gates, drafting Marshawn Lynch and Peyton Manning, but bombed after that. Yes he got AJ Green and Julio Jones, but Jones hasn't played a full season in the NFL. He also got Julius Thomas, so sure, that's about it. I have no idea what he's gonna do during the Broncos bye week. His bench needs work, and he needs a solid RB2... Gores not gonna do it.

The Legend of Pags

The Franchise. The Creator. The Punisher. Jesus. Well maybe not the last one, but maybe the first three. Well Mark is sorta becoming The Franchise. I guess The Punisher works, I mean he did play for The Hardware last year, but he didn't really punish anyone. But one name is for certain, The Creator.

Yes, I may have done all the internal setup with the ESPN stuff and junk, but it was Marcus Paguliarulo who actually came up with the idea for Sunday Funday (not sure who came up with the name).

Let us start off with some backstory. Pags was still playing football, and I had just put his knee into a bad place. Pags and I were leaving lunch and heading for the elevator near the weight room to head to the legendary Ms. Dobsons English class. I'm pretty sure this was the second or third day of school. Either way, as they waited for the elevator to come down, Pags announced that he has never tried Fantasy Football, and then said something to the likes of "we should totally make a league" or "Let's do this." I have no idea, it was almost a year ago. August 27th to be exact. Pags and I then began the search for members, with the first being Graham, then Sam, but ESPN required at least five for a league. Mark was an option, but screw him, we brought in DelGatto #HailBranchez. And like that, Pags had created one of the greatest things everyone in this league has today.

But it isn't just his imagination that has made this league. He actually plays the game well. He drafted a solid squad starting with Adrian Peterson and he just went off from there. He tore through the leagues first four game, starting off 4-0 and scaring the poo out of everyone. He then skidded to finish the season 1-5, but managed to make the playoffs, thanks to his strong opening performance. Playoffs came along, and went on to defeat Suck my Ditka (greatest name ever) but failed to gain The Hardware from Mark.

He isn't done though apparently. When I asked him what he wants this year, he dropped a bomb and left the mic sitting right on the ground.

"What I want? I want a reign of terror and destruction that catapults me into victory. Not only victor but the complete destruction of all foes. I'm on a war path baby and I'm about to get medieval on your honky asses. Si vis pacem, para bellum."

Good Fellas opens the season against The Barth Knight Rises.

"If you want peace, prepare for war."

The Legend of Sam Giorgio

He is Sunday Funday's most infamous member, known best for his 2013 campaign that was littered with the phrase, "The Struggle". Sam Wow defined the struggle throughout his season, yet still managed to only miss the playoffs by one game (there was some controversy surrounding some wins... Pags). It all started with wasting his #1 overall pick on QB Eli Manning, and it just went straight downhill from there. He pretty much holds every single negative record in the books, and, he is the only person to never beat me.

Regrets, he's had a few, but then again, too few to mention. He did, what he had to do, and saw it through, without exemption.

Yes there were times, I'm sure he knew, when he bit off, more than he could chew... but through it all, when there was doubt, he ate it up, and spit it out.  But through it all, Sam stood tall, and in his own words, "The record show, I took the blows, and did it mmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."


"Yes, it was, mmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy wwwwaaaayyyyy."

Dank Sinatra takes The Hardware this year.

Head to Head Records

Britton
Britton vs. Pags (2-2)

Britton vs. Sam (2-0)

Britton vs. Mark (2-1)

Britton vs. Graham (2-2)


Pags
Pags vs. Britton (2-2)

Pags vs. Sam (1-1)

Pags vs. Mark (3-2)

Pags vs. Graham (2-1)


Graham
Graham vs. Britton (2-2)

Graham vs. Pags (1-2)

Graham vs. Sam (3-2)

Graham vs. Mark (0-1)


Sam
Sam vs. Britton (0-2)
Sam vs. Pags (1-1)
Sam vs. Mark (1-2)
Sam vs. Graham (2-3)


Mark
Mark vs. Britton (1-2)
Mark vs. Pags (2-3)
Mark vs. Sam (2-1)
Mark vs. Graham (1-0)

The Legend of Mark Schmidt

It is not much of a legend actually. Infact, he is lucky I am writing this cause he said he would change his name if I wrote this. Well, I am writing it, and his name remains Team Britton. Well, here is the uninspiring story of how Mark got in this league.

Brandon didnt want to do this, you could tell by his expression at the draft. Zeros were given, yet he beat Graham Week One. So, I set out to find a replacement who would actually care.

Fun fact for you, Mark was actually helping Sam out before he took over Branchez. Technically, he was Sam's b**ch. Can't swear on the internet, but Mark was Sam's female dog for awhile. Never let go of that Sam.

Naturally, I decided to screw over Sam and invite Mark to take over Brandon's team. He accepted, and even after letting him join and winning The Hardware, I never got a thank you. It doesn't matter though, I am 2-1 against Mark. Just let that sink in.

Yes he is probably our best asset, but that will probably change after Sam takes The Hardware this year.

Getting to know Each other!

I went around and asked each and everyone of you three very random questions that had nothing to do with anything. But know you know things you never knew before.

Graham's favorite song of all time is Superstition by Stevie Wonder; enjoys the game NFL 2K5 the most and unfortunately cheers for the Mets.

Mark's favorite cereal is Pops; his favorite soccer team is the USA National Team... That's original; and his favorite pen brand is Berol Ballpoint Pens.

Pags' favorite type of coin is the shilling; his favorite pro wrestler is Hulk Hogan and he enjoys a good bowl of clam chowder.

Sam's favorite album is Nothing but the Best by Frank Sinatra, he enjoys Diet Coke and his favorite book is Into the Wild... Wow.

I enjoy long walks on the beach, listening to thunderstorms in deep thought, and Jersey Girl by Springsteen.


This was a stupid idea, but totally worth it.

The Legend of Graham Littell

You may know him as the "Master of Mediocre", "Stoner" or just plan old "Sex Panther". He is Graham Littell, the third member of Sunday Funday. Now, let us go over Grahams history in this historic league before the 2014 Draft happens.

Graham was invited immediately after Pags came up with the idea for the league. That is right, he came before Sam. I have the text message, I can prove it. Many saw Graham as a joke member, but he proved his doubters wrong (Sam) by finishing third overall last year after a very mediocre regular season. He literally went 5-5.

Graham describes himself as "merciless", and says his least favorite league member is Sammy G because "he is a poser." When asked about his expectations this year, he said he plans "to crush all those who stand before me."

He plays Mark Week One, so I guess that whole crushing thing may not happen until Week Two.