Week 8 Cap Numbers

Pags
New Cap: 82mil
Spending $: 20.83mil

Britton
New Cap: 84.41mil
Spending $: 20.87mil

Sam
New Cap: 85mil
Spending $: 4.21mil

Graham
New Cap: 85mil
Spending $: 4.41mil

Schmidt
New Cap: 85mil (Until Sammy G fines him into the gates of hell)
Spending $: 17.04mil (Once again, until Sammy G RKO's Schmidt, and then Pags comes out and tombstones Schmidt)

Thacher
He hasn't picked up anyone for 4 weeks, so I think we are good with him. He is well under.

Every League Members WWE Entrance

Because I am obsessed with WWE right now. We may go to Monday Night Raw in Brooklyn during Christmas break. Also I am not even doing Graham or Thacher cause neither of them care.

1. Sam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52JDIrpnu8A

2. Schmidt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCzBf-jo84o

3. Britton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S3rXojCzi4

4. Pags
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC849DAaG0w

WWE Predictions for Week 8

Pags vs. Thacher

After coming off a devastating defeat to Brock Lesnar… I mean Schmidt, Pags is looking for redemption against the hottest commodity in Sunday Funday, Jack Thacher. Thacher is out in the ring, but Pags is nowhere to be found. It appears as if Pags is going to have to forfeit this match. Thacher is leav-*Undertaker Bell Tolls* *Lights go out* WHAT THE HELL? *Ain't No Grave plays* THE CROWD IS CONFUSED AS SMOKE FILLS THIS ARENA. WHAT IS GOING ON RIG-OH MY GOD. IT'S PAGS. THE PHENOM IS HERE AND MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING DONNING A TRENCH COAT AND A COWBOY HAT. THACHER IS IN DISBELIEF. *Bell Tolls* *Lights go out* WAIT? WHERE’D PAGS GO? *Bell Tolls* *Lights go on* OH MY GOD PAGS IS IN THE RING. THACHER HAS NO IDEA. THACHER TURNS AROUND AND ITS A LOW BLOW FROM PAGS. WHAT'S THIS? OH MY GOD A THUNDEROUS CHOKE SLAM. PAGS ISN’T DONE. TOMBESTONE PILEDRIVER. HERE IS THE COUNT. 1… 2… 3! PAGS BEGINS HIS ROAD TO REDEMPTION.

Graham vs. Britton

Here we go! Thrilla in Manila Part II. Graham comes out of the corner AND BARTHOLD WITH A SPINEBUSTER. WHAT IS THIS? NO FRICKEN WAY. BRITTON IS SETTING IT UP. YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN? THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT, THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW. 1… 2… 3! BARTHOLD WINS.

Oh you think you will actually win this week Graham? IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK. KNOW YOUR ROLE, AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU JABRONI.

Sam vs. Mark

Brock Lesnar, I mean Schmidt is coming off the destruction of Pags, and is more powerful than ever. Can a slumping Sammy G who started 3-0 bounce back from 4 straight losses? IT DOESN’T SEEM THAT WAY CAUSE SCHMIDT WITH AN F-5. COVER. 1… 2… OH AND A KICKOUT FROM SAM. WATCH OUT WATCH OUT WATCH OUT! SAMMY G WITH AN RKO OUT OF NOWHERE, BUT WHAT THE HELL? SCHMIDT JUST STOOD UP. IT DIDN’T EFFECT HIM. SCHMIDT IS SMILING. HE GRABS SAMMY G AND HITS ANOTHER F-5. THIS ONE IS OVER. 1… 2… *Bell Tolls* *Lights go out* OH MY GOD NO WAY. *Bell Tolls* *Lights go on* ITS PAGS. THE PHENOM IS IN THE RING AND LOOKING AT SCHMIDT. PAGS GOES FOR THE CHOKESLAM, BUT SCHMIDT COUNTERS. OH MY GOD SCHMIDT HITS THE F-5. OH NO, PAGS IS DOWN AND OUT. What a devastating ending for Pags, looking to redeem himself af-OH MY GOD PAGS SAT UP. PAGS SAT UP AND SCHMIDT JUST SHIT HIMSELF. PAGS IS STARING INTO THE SOUL OF SCHMIDT AND OH MY GOD. SWEET CHIN MUSIC FROM SAMMY G. PAGS PICKS UP SCHMIDT, TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER. SAM WITH THE COVER. 1… 2… 3! SAM WITH A HUGE UPSET AND MUCH NEEDED WIN. Sam goes to shake Pags’ hand BUT A CHOKESLAM FROM PAGS TO SAM. PAGS IS ON A WAR PATH RIGHT NOW. HE IS GETTING A LADDER AND A TABLE AND A CHAIR. WHAT IS THIS? PAGS HAS SCHMIDT ON THE TOP OF THE LADDER. OH MY GOD, THE LAST RIDE FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER THROUGH THE TABLE. SCHMIDT MIGHT BE DEAD. PAGS ISN’T DONE, HE HITS THE TOMBSTONE ON TOP OF THE STEEL CHAIR.

PAGS CAME FOR ONE THING, AND THAT IS REDEMPTION. SCHMIDT VS PAGS, WEEK 13, THE FINAL BATTLE.

Week 7 Predictions

You think I was going to skip the oppurtunity to do these absurd WWE predictions? Nah. Let’s do it. 

Graham vs. Thacher

Here is the opening bell and Graham takes a swing BUT THACHER HITS A MASSIVE DROP KICK. WHAT IS THIS? OH MY GOD THACHER IS TUNING UP THE BAND. SWEET. CHIN. MUSIC. GRAHAM MIGHT BE DEAD. HERE IS THE COVER. 1… 2… OH AND A KICK OUT. Graham gets up and BY GOD GRAHAM WITH A HELLS GATE TO THACHER. WILL THACHER TAP OUT? WHAT?!?!?! BARTHOLD IS COMING DOWN. GRAHAM AND BRITTON MEET NEXT WEEK IN THE THRILLA IN MANILA. GRAHAM AND BARTHOLD ARE TALKING SHIT BUT THACHER OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A ROLLUP. 1… 2… 3! THACHER BEATS GRAHAM AFTER BARTHOLD DISTRACTED GRAHAM.

Pags vs. Schmidt

Here we go as the bell rings AND SCHMIDT WITH AN F-5 OUT OF NOWHERE. SCHMIDT IS GOING FOR THE COV-OH MY GOD PAGS SAT UP. PAGS JUST PULLED AN UNDERTAKER AND SAT UP. SCHMIDT IS GOING FOR ANOTHER F-5 AND IT CONNECTS! THIS TIME, SCHMIDT WITH A COVER. 1... 2… WHAT THE HELL? PAGS SAT UP AGAIN. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? SCHMIDT CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT HE IS SEEING. IT LOOKS LIKE SCHMIDT IS GOING FOR ANOTHER F-5 BUT PAGS COUNTERS. HOLY SHIT THE LIGHTS JUST WENT OUT.

 *Undertaker Bell Tolls* 

 WHAT THE HELL? SCHMIDT IS LYING ON A TABLE AND PAGS IS AT THE TOP OF A LADDER. SWANTON BOMB. SWANTON BOMB THROUGH THE TABLE. PAGS WITH THE COVER. 1… 2… 3! PAGS WITH A HUGE UPSET. *Pags walks out to Ain’t No Grave*

Sam vs. Britton

Now this is the most anticipated matchup in history. Sammy G vs Britton. Here we go with the opening bell as Britton and Sam stay pretty even. OH BUT SAMMY G WITH A CLOTHESLINE. SAMMY G PICKS BRITTON UP BUT BARTHOLD WITH A SPINEBUSTER. WHAT A SPINEBUSTER FROM BARTHOLD. WHAT’S THIS? OH MY GOD HE IS SETTING IT UP. THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. BRITTON BOUNCES OFF THE ROP-RKO OUT OF NOWHERE. SAMMY G CAME OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THAT. SAMMY G WITH THE COVER! 1… 2… OH AND A KICKOUT. WHAT A MATCH. SAMMY G IS PICKING BRITTON UP AND BARTHOLD WITH A KICK TO THE STOMACH. WHAT’S THIS? A STONE COLD STUNNER TO SAM. COVER! 1… 2… AND A KICK OUT FROM SAMMY G. BRITTON CAN’T BELIEVE IT AS HE LOOKS IN-OH MY GOD A LOW BLOW FROM SAMMY G TO BRITTON. OH MY GOD SAMMY G IS SETTING UP THE PUNT. SAMMY G RUNS AT BRITTON BUT MISSES. BRITTON WITH A COUNTER, HE HAS SAMMY G IN THE HELLS GATE. THE HELLS GATE IS LOCKED IN BUT IT LOOKS LIKE SAM IS PICKING UP BRITTON. OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE STRENGTH. SAMMY G GETS OUT OF IT AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS GOING FOR THE WALLS OF JERICHO. SAMMY G HAS IT LOCKED IN! WHAT WILL BRITTON DO? CAN HE GET OUT?

WHAT THE HELL? THE LIGHTS WENT OUT AGAIN!

*Undertaker Bell Tolls*

OH MY GOD PAGS IS IN THE RING. SAM CANT BELIEVE WHAT HE IS SEEING. SAM TAKES A SWING AT PAGS BUT PAGS GRABS SAM AND HITS THE CHOKESLAM. OH MY GOD PAGS HAS SIDED WITH BRITTON. PAGS IS HELPING BRITTON UP-OH MY GOD. NO NO NO NO! PAGS HITS THE CHOKESLAM ON BRITTON. BOTH SAM AND BRITTON ARE DOWN.

*Undertaker Bell Tolls*

OH MY GOD PAGS DISAPPEARED. BOTH MEN ARE DOWN IN THE RING! WAIT A MINUTE! ITS GRAHAM. GRAHAM IS COMING OUT. HE DRAGS SAMMY G ONTO BRITTON. THE REF WITH THE COUNT. 1… 2… 3! SAMMY G WINS! GRAHAM SCREWS BRITTON AHEAD OF THE THRILLA IN MANILA AND SAMMY G WINS.

Week 6 Preview

I really do not feel like doing the Recap this week with all the surprise player stuff and power rankings. I was going to use the excuse of me having a test tomorrow or that I have like 40 essays, but that’s not true. Even if it were true I still wouldn’t be doing that crap. College. Go Hoosiers. So instead I am just going to continue the trend of me doing WWE like predictions for the games this week. Enjoy.

Pags vs. Sammy G

Sam starts off strong, looking to bounce back from his embarrassing defeat at the hands of Thacher last week. Sammy G is dominating this match-up in every aspect and AN RKO OUTTA NOWHERE. HERE IS THE COVER. 1… 2…. OH MY GOOD GOD PAGS WITH A KICK OUT. IT WAS NEARLY OVER BUT PAGS MANAGES TO ESCAPE. Sammy G is now picking Pags up, and it looks like he is setting up another RK-OH BUT PAGS WITH A DROP KICK. GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY PAGS HITS THE LEG DROP. PAGS WITH THE COVER. 1… 2… AND A KICK OUT FROM SAM. I MEAN I’M NOT THAT SURPRISED THAT FINISHER SUCKS BUT STILL. Both men are getting up now, this has been one hell of a fight. WAIT A MINUTE, PAGS GOING FOR THE BROGUE KICK BUT SAM DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY AND PAGS HITS THE REF. OH MY GOD! A LOW BLOW FROM SAM TO PAGS. Pags is down on the ground and it looks like Sammy G is going for the punt. WAIT A MINUTE! ITS THACHER COMING DOWN. OH MY GOD HE HITS SAM WITH A STEEL CHAIR. PAGS IS GOING TO THE TOP ROPE. SWANTON. BOMB. THE REF WAKES UP. HERE IS THE COVER! 1… 2… 3! PAGS DEFEATS SAMMY G FOR A HUGE UPSET VICTORY.

Britton vs. Thacher

You guys already know what is going to happen. I am gonna do the whole “IT'S THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW” thing and build it up, say I win, and then actually get smacked in the real game.  OH MY GOD BRITTON USES THE DISTRACTION TO HIT THE TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER ON THACHER. IF HE COVERS HIM HE WILL WIN. WAIT A MINUTE! NO WAY! IT'S THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN SPORTS TODAY! THE PEOPLES ELBOW! 1… 2… 3! BARTHOLD WINS.

Mark vs. Graham

Graham runs out of the corner towards Schmidt BUT SCHMIDT WITH AN F-5! COVER! 1… 2… 3! MARK WINS.

Week Four Recap

I’m back!!!! After a one week hiatus where I could literally not function due to injury, I am back and ready to deliver what the people want, because I am the people's champ. THE PEOPLES ELBOW!!!! Let’s get to it.

Surprise Player of the Week (Devante Freeman; 32 pts):

Yea, this segment is back after Sam requested it. Didn’t think you guys would miss it that much. Anyway, Devante Freeman had a monster week last week, but nobody expected him to do it again. He did it again, and unfortunately for Thacher, it is what put him down.

Player of the Week (Devante Freeman; 32 pts):

He scored the most, read above for what I think.

Power Rankings:

1. (3) [3-0-1] Bill Swerski’s Ditka Volcano

Graham grabbed a huge win against Sam this week, in a game that pitted the two undefeated teams against each other. Luckily for Graham, sam crapped the bed and put up 62 points, but still, Graham was able to put up a solid 90 points. Graham’s highest scorer put up a mere 13 points, but let’s take notice that 6/9 players put up double digit points for Graham’s squad. Also, his team should be 4-0, but Pags screwed that up with the whole tie thing back in week one. Even with #1 pick Andrew Luck struggling, Graham looks to be a serious contender when playoffs come by.

2. (1) [3-1] Hanibal’s Cannibals

Sam had a tough week, but that doesn’t mean his team is falling apart. Sure, 2nd round pick Jimmy Graham hasn’t done anything for Sam, but a pending trade to Schmidt may give his TE position new light. His weakness appears to be his bench, and RB Carlos Hyde. Way to talk him up after week one Sam. Really seems to be working out. Sorry babe didn’t mean that. We gotta be friends so that we can murder Schmidt on Sunday. Expect Sam to bounce back, as his QB/WR tandem is too good to mess with.

3. (5) [2-2] Just Bend Over: Part III

Here we go. Schmidt started terrible and now look what is happening. After three weeks of “Schmidting”, Mark owns a team that has the potential to be terrifying. However, a lot of his players appear to be hit or miss plays, so let us just hope everyone on his team dies so someone else can win for once.

4. (2) [1-2-1] Warrior Poets

After a miraculous tie and a win over Thacher, Pags has dropped two straight to Mark and myself. Honestly, you have to notice that his RB situation after Le’Veon Bell isnt good since Lynch is sucking wind, but his WR’s are all around solid players. Unfortunately, those guys struggled hard this week, which caused the close lose for Pags. Also, anyone else find it funny that whenever Pags plays Eifert he sucks, but when he doesn’t he is amazing? Expect Pags to bounce back, I can still see this team making the playoffs.

5. (6) [1-3] The People’s Elbow

I WON A GAME. SHIP OR BUST BABY.

6. (4) Wet Dreams About Winning

Thacher’s team is struggling.

Week 5 Predictions:

Mark vs. Britton

Mark dominates Britton the entire match. It appears as if Schmidt is about to hit the F-5 to finish Britton, BUT BRITTON COUNTERS WITH A ROCK BOTTOM. OH MY GOD, HE IS SETTING IT UP. THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT, THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW. I win.

Pags vs. Graham

Pags is starting off strong, but Graham comes out of nowhere with a massive drop kick. WHAT IS THIS? GRAHAM IS CLIMBING TO THE TOP ROPE. HE IS LOOKING FOR THE SWANTON BOMB! HE JUMPS INTO THE AIR… OH MY GOD PAGS WITH A BROGUE KICK OUT OF NOWHERE. Pags pulls off the massive upset this week.

Sam vs. Thacher

The bell rings, Thacher takes the first swing BUT AN RKO OUT OF NOWHERE FOR SAM. He goes for the cover! 1… 2… WAIT A MINUTE SAM STOPPED THE PIN. WHAT’S HE DOING? OH MY GOD HE IS SETTING UP THE PUNT! HOLY SHIT HE JUST PUNTED THACHER. THIS ONE IS OVER. WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE IT LOOKS LIKE SAM IS GETTING A TABLE. OH MY GOD AN RKO THROUGH THE TABLE. Sam murders Jack this week.

Oh yea, by the way. You think your team is gonna win at LB Fight Night Schmidt?  WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING GUYINA. NOTHING MEANS NOTHING… AND THE TEAM OF SAMMY G, GUTTUSO AND I ARE GONNA RISE TO THE TOP, CAUSE WERE THE CREAM OF THE CROP YEA. Fuck you.