Preseason Power Rankings

In 7 days, it's the first SSSSSUUUUUNNNNNDDDDDAAAAAYYYYY FFFFFUUUUUNNNNNDDDDDAAAAAYYYYY SSSSSUUUUUNNNNNDDDDDAAAAAYYYYY. Now, ESPN doesn't do preseason rankings, so I asked you guys to vote. It was pretty much unanimous. We didn't even need Graham and Sam to vote. 

1. Schmidt Happens
Mark would put himself at #1. But he's got the right too, since he had a pretty solid draft. He's relying heavily on star power, drafting McCoy and Rodgers along with the best TE in the game, Jimmy Graham. The only thing I'm skeptical on is his WRs, but I feel like he's got it figured out.

2. The Barth Knight Rises
A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So, we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away. 

Some men just wanna watch the world burn.

3. Good Fellas
Last years runner up made a solid lineup at the draft, but lacked at the WR position. He fixed that, getting Alshon Jeffery but losing RB Eddie Lacy. Fear not, as he also owns Arian Foster and Leveon Bell. He went balls in at the QB position however, picking a risky Matthew Stafford. Oh, and he's got Gronk. He's got an injury prone team, but if they don't all snap their own necks, he should be a force in the league.

4. Far Out!
He owns the greatest team name ever, however, he's weak at WR after trading Alshon Jeffery. But in that trade he got Eddie Lacy, making a solid tandem at RB with Forte and Lacy. He's also got MVP runner up in Drew Brees, helping him out at the weak WR spot. Who knows, maybe Roddy White will have a monster year.

5. Dank Sinatra
Sam looked strong out of the gates, drafting Marshawn Lynch and Peyton Manning, but bombed after that. Yes he got AJ Green and Julio Jones, but Jones hasn't played a full season in the NFL. He also got Julius Thomas, so sure, that's about it. I have no idea what he's gonna do during the Broncos bye week. His bench needs work, and he needs a solid RB2... Gores not gonna do it.