WWE Week 12

Schmidt vs. Graham

Well this is quite an odd matchup, as two of Sunday Funday’s baddest guys are set to face off. Both men are out, but are refusing to start the match… it appears as if Schmidt and Graham are saying that they don’t feel like it tonight. Oh my God are you kidding me? It looks like Schmidt and Graham are going to leave the ring to-*Randy Ortons Music Plays* OH BOY. SAMMY G IS HERE, AND HE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS.

*Schmidt Grabs a Microphone*

Schmidt: Sam, oh Sam. You really believe you have a chance against us? You are coming out here to stand up against two of the best? I think you are a pathetic lit-*The Rocks Music Plays*

OH YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. HE IS BACK. THE PEOPLE’S CHAMP IS BACK AFTER TWO WEEKS OFF, AND HE IS STANDING AT THE SIDE OF HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER.

*Britton Grabs a Microphone*

Britton: Schmidt, you should know by now… IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK. NOW TAKE THAT JABRONI STANDING NEXT TO Y-*Graham interrupts*

Graham: HEY. MY NAME I-*Britton interrupts*

Britton: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS. Now get your sorry asses back in the ring, cause we are having ourselves a tag team match.

A TAG TEAM MATCH. BARTHOLD AND GIORGIO WILL TEAM UP TO TAKE ON THE TEAM OF SCHMIDT AND GRAHAM.

Sam & Britton vs. Schmidt & Graham

So it looks like Sam and Graham will start this match off… AND SAM WITH AN RKO RIGHT OFF THE BAT. COVER… 1… 2… SCHMIDT BREAKS IT UP. BARTHOLD NOW IN THE RING, AND HE IS TAKING THE FIGHT TO SCHMIDT WHO IS RETREATING OUT OF THE RING. SCHMIDT AND BARTHOLD ARE FIGHTING OUTSIDE AND GRAHAM HITS SWEET CHIN MUSIC OUT OF NOWHERE ON SAM. COVER! 1… 2… KICK OUT BY SAM. OH MAN THAT WAS CLOSE.

OH MAN LOOK OUTSIDE THE RING! SCHMIDT JUST HIT THE F-5 ON BARTHOLD THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE. GRAHAM NOW TAGS SCHMIDT IN, AND SCHMIDT IS DECIMATING SAM. SCHMIDT WITH AN F-5! 1… 2… OH AND BARTHOLD BREAKS IT UP. SCHMIDT GETS BARTHOLD UP FOR THE F-5, BUT SAM WITH AN RKO. SAM TAGS IN BRITTON, AND IT LOOKS LIKE BRITTON IS GOING FOR THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN SPORTS ENTER-OH BUT SCHMIDT POPPED UP. F-5. F-5. F-5. SAM IS COMING IN TO BREAK IT UP BUT GRAHAM HITS SWEET CHIN MUSIC. SCHMIDT WITH THE COVER. 1… 2… KICK OUT. SCHMIDT CAN’T BELIEVE IT. SCHMIDT CANNOT BELIEVE IT. HE GRABS GRAHAM. WHAT THE HELL? F-5 TO GRAHAM. OH MY GOD SCHMIDT IS ON A WARPATH, BUT HE IS LEAVING THE RING. BRITTON CRAWLS TO THE COVER. 1… 2… 3! BARTHOLD AND SAM WIN AFTER A BIZARRE FINISH.

Thacher vs. Pags

Thacher wins via forfeit because Pags has made it clear that he does not intend on wrestling a match until he gets Schmidt next week.

Schmidt vs. Pags Contract Signing

Schmidt has come out, but surprisingly has brought no protection. This is different from Schmidt, it looks like he is trying to prove that he can handle Pags all by himself. Schmidt has signed the contract, but now we await the arrival of the Deadman. *Bell Tolls* *American Badass Theme Plays* WAIT WHAT. WHAT. HOLY HELL. PAGS IS HERE, ROLLING IN ON A MOTORCYCLE AS THE AMERICAN BADASS UNDERTAKER. THIS PLACE HAS EXPLODED. HERE HE COMES, ROLLING DOWN TO THE RING, AND SCHMIDT IS FREAKING OUT.

PAGS IS NOW IN THE RING, STARING DOWN SCHMIDT. SCHMIDT GRABS THE CONTRACT AND SHOVES IT INTO PAGS. SCHMIDT HAS SOME BALLS TONIGHT. PAGS SIGNS THE CONTRACT. THE MATCH IS OFFICIAL FOR NEXT WEEK. PAGS VS SCHMIDT. UNDERTAKER VS LESNAR. THIS IS GOING TO BE AMAZING, I CANNOT WA-OH MY GOD. PAGS GRABS SCHMIDT. PAGS GOING FOR THE CHOKESLAM, BUT SCHMIDT COUNTERS AND GRABS PAGS FOR AN F-5, BUT PAGS COUNTERS THAT, AND NOW THE TWO ARE TEARING EACH OTHER APART. HERE COMES SAM, THACHER AND BRITTON (Cause Fuck Graham) TO BREAK IT UP. THEY HAVE SEPARATED THE TWO WARRIORS, BUT WE ALL KNOW WHAT WILL GO DOWN NEXT WEEK. AN ALL OUT WAR WILL BREAK OUT BETWEEN THESE TWO. I CANNOT WAIT.

Week 13 will feature:

Graham vs. Britton (Tables, Ladders and Chairs) in the finale of the Thrilla in Manila. The Hardwood will be hanging above the ring, whoever retrieves it wins it.

Schmidt vs. Pags (Hell in a Cell)

Week 11 Predictions

Background from Week 10:

• Thacher defeated Graham after kicking out of Sweet Chin Music twice and hitting the Coup de Grace.
• Sam defeated Pags via forfeit since Pags is still presumed dead after the Schmidt attacks.
• Schmidt refused to come out to the ring after being attacked last week by an inhuman force. Britton was spotted donning black and white face paint watching the weeks matches from the rafters.

Thacher vs. Britton

Well ladies and gentlemen Jack Thacher just made is phenomenal entrance, seriously that is my favorite thing ever… But there is no sign of Britton Barthold, who refused to wrestle his match last week, but was spotted in the arena rafters watching the matches. He looked incredibly sad, and I am sorry folks but we can’t seem to get a hold of Britton so we don’t have any answers. Thacher appears as if he is going to win this one via forfeit, which is to-OH WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE. BARTHOLD IS HERE, MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING HOLDING A BASEBALL BAT. BRITTON IS IN THE RING NOW, AND THEY ARE GOING TO RING THE BELL AND START THE MATCH. WHAT IS THIS? What is going on? Britton is now leaving the ring and the crowd is utterly confused. The ref is nearing a 10 count, and Thacher will win this match via countout. What a strange turn of events right there.

Graham vs. Pags

Pags is unfortunately still presumed dead, even though the past few weeks, cryptic messages have turned up on the board and strange events have occurred during Schmidt’s matches. Graham is still out here though, and he has a microphone, so we may have to listen to him talk a bit.

“I am SICK AND TIRED, OF BEING MEDIOCRE IN THIS LEAGUE. I deserve respect, but all I get is shit for not knowing how to run my team. WELL SCREW ALL OF YOU! *Crowd stereotypically boos* I GOT SCREWED OUT OF THAT MATCH WITH THACHER, AND YOU ALL KNOW I SHOULD’VE WON IT. *Crowd still does that stereotypical boo thing that I love* I am the best wrestler in this league, and have proven that on a weekly basis. I nearly beat Schmidt, I have come so close to slaying The Underta-I mean Pags, and would probably destroy him tonight if he were alive. Oh? You’re hoping for the bell to toll and the lights to go out aren't you? WELL IT'S NOT HAPPENING BECAUSE HE IS DEAD. NEXT WEEK I WILL MANHANDLE SCHMIDT, THEN PROCEED TO WIN THE THRILLA IN MANILA FOR THE FIRST TIME AND RIDE THAT MOMENTUM TO A PLAYOFF BIRTH COME WEEK 14. I WILL WIN THE TITLE THIS YEAR, AND NO ONE IS STOPPING ME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? NO ONE IS ST-” *Roddy Piper's Music Plays*

WWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTT? IT CAN’T BE. OH MY GOD IT'S ROWDY RODDY PIPER BACK FROM THE DEAD. THIS PLACE HAS EXPLODED, AS HOT ROD IS MAKING HIS WAY DOWN TO THE RING. IF THERE IS SOMEONE WHO WILL SHUT GRAHAM UP, IT IS PIPER. Piper is now in the ring, face to face with Graham and Graham is getting right into Hot Rod’s face AND PIPER IS HAVING NONE OF IT. PIPER WITH A NUT SHOT TO GRAHAM, AND PIPER THROWS GRAHAM RIGHT OUT OF THE RING. WHAT A MOMENT, WHAT AN AMAZING MOMENT AS ROWDY RODDY PIPER RISES FROM THE GRAVE TO GIVE US SUCH A SPECIAL MOMENT.

Schmidt vs. Sam (No Holds Barred)

Welcome to our main event that pits Sammy G against Mark Schmidt. Sammy G has received a career revitalization as of late, winning two games after dropping a league record five straight losses. Mark Schmidt on the other hand has been a complete mess with this whole Pags situation, even though it is presumed that Schmidt did kill Pags, and that the Deadman is indeed dead. I don’t think Schmidt has to focus on getting back to his winning ways as he faces Sam here in a No Holds Barred match, meaning there are no count outs or disqualification… Anything goes.

So here we go, Sammy G vs. Schmidt for the last time this year. Sam is controlling this one early with quick punches. He needs to stay away from Schmidt and those dangerous German Suplexes. Sam continuing to control the match by staying far from Schmidt BUT SCHMIDT GETS A HOLD OF SAM AND THERE IS A GERMAN SUPLEX. SAM CANNOT LET SCHMIDT GET MORE THAN THREE OF THESE IN A ROW OR ELSE HE IS DONE FOR. SCHMIDT WITH A SECOND GERMAN SUPLEX. SCHMIDT PICKING UP SAM FOR ANOTHER BUT SAM DRIVES HIS FOOT BACK INTO THE CROTCH OF SCHMIDT.

Well as I said ladies and gentlemen, anything goes here so that was completely legal on the part of Sam. Both men are recovering now, but Sam is the first to his feet. Sam seems a little dazed from those two German Suplexes, but is now stomping away on Schmidt. Sam is keeping Schmidt on the ground here BUT SCHMIDT POPS UP AND HITS AN F-5. WHAT A SEQUENCE. COVER. 1… 2… OH BUT A KICK OUT BY SAM. SCHMIDT NEARLY GOT SAM THERE. THE SPEED OF SCHMIDT THERE WAS ABSURD.

Schmidt now in control, as he has Sam completely out of it after that F-5. Schmidt is smiling now, AND HE GRABS SAM FOR ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX. AND ANOTHER. ANOTHER. OH MY GOD SCHMIDT IS THROWING SAM AROUND LIKE A RAG DOLL. SCHMIDT IS NOW UP TO FIVE SU-MAKE THAT SIX GERMAN SUPLEXES. ANOTHER COVER! 1… 2… KICK OUT FROM SAM. SCHMIDT HAS HAD ENOUGH, HE IS GONNA TRY TO END THIS WITH A SECOND F-5. SCHMIDT GETS SAM UP AND CONNECTS. COVER. 1… 2… OH MY GOD ANOTHER KICKOUT AND SCHMIDT CAN’T BELIEVE IT. SIX GERMAN SUPLEXES AND AN F-5 TWICE CANNOT PUT SAM AWAY.

Schmidt is arguing with the ref here about the speed of his count, BUT SCHMIDT IS PAYING ATTENTION TO SAM WHO HAS A STEEL CHAIR. SAM SLAMS THE CHAIR AGAINST SCHMIDT'S BACK. SAM CONTINUING TO HIT SCHMIDT WITH THAT CHAIR. HE IS ABSOLUTELY RELENTLESS. SAM IS STILL GOING WITH THE CHAIR, AND FINALLY THROWS IT OUT OF THE RING. SAM GOING FOR A COVER. 1… AND AN EARLY KICKOUT FROM SCHMIDT, MY GOD HOW DID HE KICK OUT THAT EARLY?

Sam is now preparing to use the chair again BUT SCHMIDT GRABS IT OUT OF HIS HANDS AND TAKES A SWING AT SAM BUT SAM DODGES IT. SAM KICKS SCHMIDT IN THE STOMACH AND SCHMIDT DROPS THE CHAIR IN FRONT OF HIM. OH MY GOD SAM PULLS SCHMIDT IN AND HITS A PEDIGREE ON TOP OF THE STEEL CHAIR. THIS HAS TO BE IT. COVER. 1… 2… 3! WAIT? DID SCHMIDT KICKOUT? THE REF APPEARED TO HIT THE MAT WITH A THREE COUNT JUST WHEN SCHMIDT KICKED OUT. THE REF HASN’T CALLED FOR THE BELL, AND SAM WANTS AN EXPLANATION. SAM IS TA-OH AN F-5 OUT OF NOWHERE. SCHMIDT HITS THE F-5 ON SAM. COVER. 1… 2… OH SAM AGAIN KICKS OUT. THE HEART OF SAM GIORGIO RIGHT NOW IS UNREAL. SAM HAS COMPLETELY DEFIED THE ODDS OUT HERE TONIGHT. *Shawn Michaels Theme Plays* WHAT? HERE COMES GRAHAM. GRAHAM PROMISED TO MAKE A STATEMENT EARLIER BUT THAT WAS THWARTED BY RODDY PIPER. GRAHAM IS WIELDING A SLEDGEHAMMER AND IS NOW IN THE RING WITH SAM AND SCHMIDT. SCHMIDT IS SMILING AT GRAHAM, WHO IS LOOKING TO TAKE OUT SAM. *Finn Balor Theme Plays* WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE, HERE COMES THACHER. THACHER IS HERE TO EVEN THE STAKES, EVEN THOUGH SAM IS STILL ON THE GROUND AND BOTH SCHMIDT AND GRAHAM HAVE WEAPONS. THACHER IS GONNA STAND HIS GROUND BUT IT IS 2 ON 1 HERE. SCHMIDT AND GRAHAM CHA-*Crow Caws*

WAIT A MINUTE. ITS BARTHOLD. BARTHOLD IS GRAPPLING FROM THE RAFTERS, AND HE JUST LANDED NEXT TO THACHER. AND GUESS WHAT? BARTHOLD HAS THE BAT. HERE WE GO. BARTHOLD IS TAKING OUT SCHMIDT AND GRAHAM WITH THE BAT AND IS CLEARING HOUSE. BOTH SCHMIDT AND GRAHAM ARE DOWN, AND THACHER IS CELEBRATING WI-OH MY GOD. BRITTON GRABS THACHER. SCORPION DEATH DROP TO THACHER. BARTHOLD IS NOW STANDING TALL AS EVERYONE IS GROUNDED IN THE RING. BARTHOLD IS REATTACHING HIS HARNESS, BUT WAIT. HE DRAGS SAM ON TOP OF SCHMIDT FOR THE COVER. BARTHOLD IS NOW RETURNING UP TO THE RAFTERS. BUT THE REF WITH THE COUNT. 1… 2… SCHMIDT KICKS OUT. SCHMIDT KICKS OUT AND SAM CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

Sam is now getting up, and is noticing the complete carnage in the ring. Sam needs to focus on Schmidt though, BUT BOTH THACHER AND GRAHAM ARE UP AND ARE TALKING SHIT. SAM TRYING TO GET THEM TO LEAVE THE RING, BUT GRAHAM SWINGS AT SAM AND ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE. THACHER, SAM, GRAHAM AND SCHMIDT ARE ALL NOW FIGHTING EACH OTHER. THIS MATCH HAS BECOME COMPLETE MAYHEM AS FOUR LEAGUE MEMBERS ARE NOW BR-*Bell Tolls* *Lights Out*

WHAT? *Lights Back On* OH MY GOD IT'S PAGS. PAGS IS IN THE RING. THE DEADMAN IS BACK. I THINK SCHMIDT JUST SHIT HIMSELF. GRAHAM CHARGES PAGS BUT RECEIVES A CHOKESLAM INSTEAD. THACHER IS TRYING TO ESCAPE THE RING, BUT PAGS GRABS HIM AND HITS A CHOKESLAM. SCHMIDT IS SCARED SHITLESS IN THE CORNER, AND SAM IS GONNA CAPITALIZE WITH ANOTHER PEDIGREE. SAM WITH THE COVER. 1… 2… 3! SAM WINS. SAM WINS. BUT PAGS IS STILL IN THE RING. SAM DOESN’T REALIZE THIS UNTIL HE GETS A THUNDEROUS CHOKESLAM FROM PAGS.

OH MY GOD THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. PAGS TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO SCHMIDT. SCHMIDT IS SITTING IN THE RING CORNER BEGGING FOR HIS LIFE. PAGS CONTINUES TO STALK SCHMID-OH BUT SCHMIDT WITH A LOW BLOW TO PAGS. SCHMIDT GRABS PAGS, F-5. SCHMIDT SUCKED PAGS INTO THAT AND NOW SCHMIDT IS LAUGHING. SCHMIDT IS NOW STANDING OVER THE LIMP BODY OF PAGS AS H-AND PAGS GRABS SCHMIDT BY THE THROAT. PAGS LOOKING FOR A CHOKESLAM, BUT SCHMIDT IS GONNA ESCAPE AND LEAVE THE RING. WE ARE NOW TWO WEEKS AWAY FROM THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY. SCHMIDT VS. PAGS. THE REMATCH IS ALMOST HERE.

*Crow Caws*

Next Week on WWE Predictions: Schmidt and Pags will sign the contract for their match in Week 13.

Graham vs. Thacher (No Disqualifications)

Jack Thacher is no doubt the hottest thing going on in Sunday Funday right now, but has failed to find his identity in the ring, which is also affecting Graham. Both should deliver a quality match-up though. Let’s see who comes out first.

Graham's Entrance:

Thachers Entrance:

Well we just learned how awesome Thacher is now. So here we go as the opening bell rings, Graham and Thacher both looking alright this season, but the latter has been superb as of late BUT GRAHAM WITH A FURY OF PUNCHES THAT HAS CAUGHT THACHER OFF GUARD. GRAHAM BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES LOOKING FOR SOME MOMENTUM BUT THACHER CAUGHT HIM WITH A POP UP POWERBOMB. THACHER WITH THE COVER! 1… 2… KICKOUT BY GRAHAM.

What a sequence of events from these two competitors, as Thacher starts pic-OH MAN. SWEET CHIN MUSIC TO THACHER. GRAHAM CAN'T CRAWL TO THE COVER THOUGH HE IS OUT OF BREATHE. GRAHAM SLOWLY CRAWLING TO THE COVER. 1… 2… OH AND A KICKOUT. What a match so far, as both men get up. Graham takes a swing at Thacher BUT THACHER HITS A SAMOAN DROP. THACHER IS NOW CLIMBING THE ROPES, HE IS LOOKING FOR HIS FINISHER. THACHER FROM THE TOP ROPE. COUP DE GRACE FROM THACHER. THACHER LOOKING TO TAKE THE VICTORY. 1… 2… *Lesnar Music Plays* WHAT? OH NO HERE COMES SCHMIDT. SCHMIDT IS LOOKING FOR REVENGE AFTER LAST WEEK'S EMBARRASSING LOSS TO THACHER. REMEMBER THIS IS A NO DQ MATCH, ANYTHING GOES. SCHMIDT GRABS THACHER AND A GERMAN SUPLEX TO THACHER. OH MAN AND ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX, NOW GRAHAM IS HELPING WITH THE BEATDOWN OF THACHER. SCHMIDT HAS THACHER UP FOR THE F-5, THIS CANNOT BE G-*DX Music Plays* WWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT? IT CAN’T BE. IT CAN’T BE. OH MY GOD HERE COMES BRITTON AND SAM. NO FRICKEN WAY. THE MOST DYNAMIC TAG TEAM IN SUNDAY FUNDAY IS HERE TO SERVE UP SOME JUSTICE, BUT GRAHAM AND SCHMIDT ARE STANDING TALL. WE’VE GOT OURSELF A STAND OFF. OH HERE WE GO. BARTHOLD IS IN THE RING AND IS LAYING THE SMACKDOWN ON GRAHAM. NOW HERE COMES SAM AND HE IS ATTACKING SCHMIDT. GRAHAM IS TRYING TO COUNTER BRITTON BUT ITS NOT WORKING BECAUSE HE JUST RECEIVED A ROCK BOTTOM. OH BUT WATCH OUT SCHMIDT HAS SAM UP FOR THE F-5, HERE WE GO. OH MAN BUT BARTHOLD KICKS SCHMIDT RIGHT IN THE NUTS AND GIVES HIM THE CROTCH CHOP. SCHMIDT IS STAGGERING TO HIS FEET, AND BRITTON PUSHES HIM STRAIGHT INTO AN R-K-O. THACHER IS BACK IN THE RING WITH GRAHAM. HERE'S THE COVER. 1… 2… 3! THACHER WITH ANOTHER WIN. WHAT A CRAZY MATCH.

Sam vs. Pags

Now we're supposed to have a matchup between Sam and Pags but it appears as if Pags will not be making an appearance for the second week in a row, although he did deliver that cryptic message to Schmidt last week. It looks like Sam will get the forfeit win, which is ki-*Lesnar Music Hits* Oh no, here comes Schmidt, and what is this? Schmidt has a group of 5 sophomore goons walking with him to the ring. This cannot be good for Sam. Schmidt and his goons have surrounded the ring AND NOW THEY ARE ATTACKING SAM. SAM IS TRYING TO FIGHT BACK BUT IT'S TO NO AVAIL. SCHMIDT AND HIS GOONS HAVE SAM DOWN AND OUT AND NOW SCHMIDT IS LAUGHING.

Schmidt is ordering one of the goons to pick up Sam BUT SAM WITH AN RKO OUT OF NOWHERE. OH MY GOD ANOTHER RKO TO THE OTHER GOON. MOTHER OF GOD ANOTHER RKO. SWEET BABY JESUS SAM HITS ANOTHER RKO. GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY ONE MORE RKO, SAM HAS JUST TAKEN OUT ALL OF SCHMIDT'S GOONS BUT SCHMIDT PICKS HIM UP AND HITS A GERMAN SUPLEX. OH MY GOD ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX, AND ANOTHER. HERE WE GO, SCHMIDT WITH AN F-5. THE GOONS HAVE RECOVERED AND HAVE CONTINUED BEATING DOWN ON SAM, AND IT LOOKS LIKE THEY ARE GETTING STEEL CHAIRS NOW TO PUNISH SAM. THIS CANNOT BE GOOD. OH MY GOD SCHMIDT IS STACKING THE CHAIRS UP, AND SCHMIDT NOW HITS AN F-5 ON SAM ON TOP OF THE CHAIRS. SCHMIDT IS NOW MOCKING PAGS’ SIGNATURE TAUNT, AND IS CALLING THE DEADMAN OUT. I DON'T THINK SCHMIDT WANTS TO STOP WITH THE DESTRUCTION, HE IS PICKING SAM UP FOR ANOTHER F-5, SOMEONE STOP H-*The Rocks Music Plays* OH MY. BARTHOLD IS COMING DOWN. THE GREAT ONE IS COMING TO THE AIDE OF HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER. REMEMBER, SCHMIDT AND BARTHOLD HAVE A MATCH LATER TONIGHT. BUT BARTHOLD DOESN'T CARE AND HE IS NOW BRAWLING HARD WITH SCHMIDT AND HIS POSEY. BRITTON IS SWINGING AT ANYTHING THAT MOVES AND HERE COMES SECURITY TO BREAK IT UP. MY GOOD GOD THANKFULLY THEY STOPPED SCHMIDT BEFORE HE COULD DO MORE DAMAGE TO SAM, BUT I THINK HE WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE A POINT TO PAGS.

Schmidt vs. Britton

So after that incredible brawl, Schmidt and Britton are set for one on one action. Schmidt still has his goons out here, though they are sitting at ringside, probably to protect Schmidt incase anyone tries to interfere. Here is the opening bell AND BARTHOLD IS COMING OUT WITH LEFT HANDS TO SCHMIDT. THE PEOPLE’S CHAMP IS BRINGING IT TO SCHMIDT. THE BRAHMA BULL IS COMPLETELY DISREGARDING SCHMIDT'S BRAHMA BULLSHIT, AND IS TAKING THE BIG MAN DOWN EARLY. OH MAN, BRITTON GOING FOR A ROCK BOTTOM EARLY BUT SCHMIDT COUNTERS WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX. THIS CANNOT BE GOOD FOR BRITTON. OH MY GOD ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX, AND ANOTHER. I THINK BRITTON MIGHT BE UNCONSCIOUS. SCHMIDT IS NOW PICKING UP BRITTON FOR AN F-5, AND THROWS HIM UP BUT BRITTON LANDS IT AND HITS A ROCK BOTTOM. A ROCK BOTTOM. OH MY GOD BRITTON WITH THE COVER. 1… 2… OH AND A KICKOUT. BRITTON ALMOST UPSET SCHMIDT RIGHT THERE, AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING.

Schmidt is now getting up, and Britton is looking to continue his offensive attack BUT SCHMIDT DROPS BRITTON WITH A HUGE SCOOP SLAM. SCHMIDT NOW HAS BARTHOLD UP. THIS TIME, THE F-5 CONNECTS. HERE'S THE COVER. 1… 2… OH AND A KICKOUT. IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE POWER OF THE PEOPLE THAT KEPT BRITTON ALIVE THERE. SCHMIDT THOUGH ISN’T DONE. HE IS GOING FOR ANOTHER F-5 AND CONNECTS. *Bell Tolls* *Lights STAY on* WHAT? Schmidt is looking up the ramp, Schmidt looks terrified right now! Schmidt is still lo-OH BUT BARTHOLD, BARTHOLD, BARTHOLD WITH A ROCK BOTTOM. ROCK BOTTOM. ROCK BOTTOM. COVER. 1… 2… OH BUT SCHMIDTS GOONS ARE IN THE RING AND ATTACKING BRITTON. THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL AS THIS ONE IS OVER, BUT SCHMIDT AND HIS GOONS ARE TAKING OUT THE PEOPLES CHA-*Crow Caws* *Lights Out*

*Lights back on* OH MY GOD. SCHMIDT'S GOONS ARE GONE. THEY’VE COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED. WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? SCHMIDT IS LOOKING AROUND COMPLETELY SHOCKED AN-*Bell Tolls*

*Only a single circular light shines on Schmidt in the ring* WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW? THE LIGHTS ARE OFF, BUT A SINGLE FLOOD LIGHT IS ON SCHMIDT. *Crow Caws* Smoke is filling the ring AND SOMETHING JUST EMERGED FROM THE DARKNESS. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? THE FIGURE JUST CHOKESLAMMED SCHMIDT! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING. THAT WAS NOT HUMAN. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT. THE LIGHTS ARE BACK ON, BRITTON ISN’T IN THE RING, THE REF IS GONE TOO.

Schmidt is laying down on the ring, I really don’t know what just happened there. A figure emerged from the ring, and by God that thing did not look human to me. Schmidt is completely at a lo-*Lights go out* What Now!?!?!

OH MY GOD IT'S SAM. THIS IS A DIFFERENT SAM THOUGH, THIS IS NOT THE OLD SAM,  BUT HE IS MAKING A STUNNING ENTRANCE RIGHT NOW, AND IS MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING. Sam is Schmidt’s opponent next week, but what could he want? Sam is now in the ring, AND HE GRABS A HELPLESS SCHMIDT AND HITS SISTER ABIGAIL ON SCHMIDT. SAM IS CYNICALLY LAUGHING, THIS IS A MAN YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS WITH FROM NOW ON. ALL IN ALL, THE LANDSCAPE OF SUNDAY FUNDAY HAS DRASTICALLY CHANGED AFTER TONIGHT. *Bell Tolls* *Lights Out* WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW? *Bell Tolls* *Lights Back On* HOLY HELL SCHMIDT AND SAM ARE GONE FROM THE RING!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? SWEET JESUS THIS IS CREEPY. IF SAM AND SCHMIDT CAN HEAR ME, GO WITH GOD, LET HIM BE WITH YOU.

*Crow Caws* *Titantron Lights Up While rest of Arena goes Dark*

Titantron Reads:

God’s gonna sit this one out.

*Crow Caws*

WWE Predictions Week 9

Background from Last Week:

• Schmidt absolutely destroyed Sam by delivering 42 suplexes and four F-5’s. Sam was unconscious after the first F-5. Sam had to be carried out on a stretcher.
• Graham thought he had his match won against Britton with a rollup but Britton countered and hit a Rock Bottom followed by the People’s Elbow to get the win and put the Thrilla in Manila at 1-1.
• Pags came out for his No DQ match against Thacher, but Schmidt came out and teamed up with Thacher to beat Pags down with steel chairs. Pags kept sitting up until Schmidt hit him across the face with a sledgehammer. Pags was pronounced dead, and Schmidt put him in a coffin.

Sammy G vs. Graham

Sammy G has officially fell into jobber status as his RKO has been completely ineffective for his past five matches. Five straight losses has set the record for longest losing streak in Sunday Funday, and he needs to rebound desperately to return to relevance. But in his way is Graham and GRAHAM IS STARTING OUT SWINGING. HE IS CONNECTING WITH EVERY PUNCH HE THROWS AND SAMMY G IS IN TROUBLE. SAMMY G LOOKS FOR A COUNTER BUT GRAHAM SEES IT COMING, AND HITS A MASSIVE DROPKICK. SAMMY G IS IN MASSIVE TROUBLE RIGHT NOW. GRAHAM PICKS UP SAM BUT AN RKO OUT OF NOWHERE. COVER. 1… 2… OH AND A KICK OUT. SAM CAN’T BELIEVE IT. SAM HAS HIS BACK TURNED TO GRAHAM AND GRAHAM TAKES ADVANTAGE WITH CROSS RHODES. HERE IS THE COVER. 1… 2… *The Rock’s Music Plays* WHAT? YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS. HERE HE COMES, THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION. BRITTON IS HERE AND IS LOOKING STRAIGHT AT GRAHAM. THE REF IS TELLING BRITTON NOT TO ENTER THE RING BUT GRAHAM TAKES OUT THE REF. HERE WE GO. BRITTON IS LAYING THE SMACKDOWN ON GRAHAM AND HE HITS A ROCK BOTTOM. WHAT A SEQUENCE OF EV-*Hogan’s Music Plays* WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT? HOGAN IS HERE. WHAT THE HELL! HULK HOGAN IS HERE FOR SOME REASON, HE ISN'T EVEN IN THIS LEAGUE, BUT THE CROWD HAS COMPLETELY LOST IT. HE IS IN THE RING AND HE HITS THE LEG DROP ON GRAHAM. THE REF IS NOW AWAKE. SAMMY G WITH A COVER. 1… 2… 3! SAM WINS. SAM WINS. THE GIANTS HAVE WON THE PENNANT. SAM WINS. THE BAND IS ON THE FIELD!

Britton vs. Pags

Britton is out here awaiting his match but you have to remember, Pags is presumed dead after Schmidt buried him in that coffin. Britton is leaving the r-*Lesnar’s Music Plays* Uh oh. Schmidt is coming out to have a few words with Britton. Britton did not deserve this, but Schmidt is looking like he wants a fight right now. Schmidt is being a co-WAIT A MINUTE. HERE COMES SAMMY G. SAMMY G HAS SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS AS HE RUNS DOWN TO THE RING. SCHMIDT TURNS HIS BACK TO BRITTON AND THAT IS A MISTAKE. THE PEOPLE’S CHAMPION IS BEATING DOWN SCHMIDT. LOOK AT THE GREAT ONE GO. WAIT A MINUTE SCHMIDT HAS BRITTON UP FOR THE F-5. HE THROWS HIM UP BUT BRITTON LANDS IT AND PUSHES SCHMIDT INTO AN R-K-FRICKEN-O FROM SAM. WHAT'S THIS? BRITTON IS SAYING SOMETHING TO SAM. IT LOOKS LIKE SAM IS GETTING A TABLE. WHAT ARE THEY DOING? OH MY GOD. DUDLEY DEATH DROP TO SCHMIDT THROUGH THE TABLE. SAMMY G AND BRITTON HAVE FORMED A TAG TEAM AND HAVE TAMED THE BEAST MARK SCHMIDT.

Schmidt vs. Thacher

Here we go, the two biggest names in the league today. Schmidt vs. Thacher. These two are going to absolutely destroy each other AND HERE WE GO. SCHMIDT VS THACHER. BOTH MEN ARE TAKING SHOTS AND THACHER IS GAINING THE UPPER HAND. HE IS BEATING SCHMIDT DOWN AND IS LOOKING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE. WHAT THE HELL? THACHER IS GOING FOR SCHMIDT'S OWN FINISHER. THACHER GOING FOR THE F-5 BUT SCHMIDT COUNTERS WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX. OH NO SCHMIDT ISN’T LETTING GO AND IS HITTING SUPLEX AFTER SUPLEX. I DON’T THINK THACHER KNOWS WHERE HE IS RIGHT NOW. SCHMIDT IS ABSOLUTELY DOMINATING BUT THACHER COUNTERS OUT OF NOWHERE. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM. OH MY GOD THACHER WITH A CLOTHESLINE. THACHER TO THE TOP ROPE. SWANTON. BOMB. THACHER WITH THE COVER. 1… 2… OH BUT A KICK OUT. THACHER CAN’T BELIEVE IT. THACHER IS GONNA CLIMB THE ROPES AGAIN. WHAT IS HE DOING? OH MY GOD HE IS GONNA TRY ANOTHER SWANTON BOMB. THACHER INTO THE AIR BUT SCHMIDT CATCHES HIM. F-5. F-5. SCHMIDT WITH THE COVER. 1… 2… 3! SCHMIDT WINS. SCHMIDT WINS. THIS MAN IS COMPLETELY UNSTOPPABLE. I MEAN I HAVE NE-*Bell Tolls*

Wait. What? It can’t be. *Bell Tolls* *Lights go out* What is happening? The lights are out, but the blue lights are coming down on the ring. Oh my God! Smoke is beginning to fill the arena, What is happening?! WHAT THE HELL? A bunch of hooded things are coming down to the ring, AND THEY ARE CARRYING THE COFFIN OF PAGS. WHAT THE HELL. SCHMIDT DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. The coffin is now in the ring, what is Schmidt gonna do? I mean it was clear that Pags was in there last week, is this just some sort of trick? Schmidt is gonna open the coff-*Lighting strikes the coffin* WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? Wait, the lights are back on, and Schmidt is laughing. Oh my God this has been a joke the entire time! Schmidt set this crowd up and is gonna show them the dead body of Pags! What a sick person, this is just terrible. Schmidt is going up to the coffin AND HE OPENED IT. WAIT. WHAT THE HELL? PAGS ISN’T IN THERE. HE ISN’T IN THERE. *Bell Tolls* *Lights Out* OH MY GOD. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? *Videoboard lights up* IT SAYS SOMETHING ON THE TITANTRON.

Titantron Reads: And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts, And I looked and behold: a pale horse. And his name, that sat on him, was Death.

And Hell followed with him.

*Crow Caws* *Lights go on* *Ring is empty*