The Recap Week 2

Week two is over. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

Top Player of the Week:

Jimmy Graham of the Sons of Scotland gets the honor these week. Oh, Aaron Rodgers scored more than him? How’d that fare for ya? Graham finally showed up after a hiatus during week by scoring two TDs and bringing in 23 points for the victorious Sons of Scotland.

Surprise Player of the Week:

Giovanni Bernard was supposed to be a solid flex option, and now, he has unfortunately become the only thing Graham can rely on, but far out! Bernards ability to catch and run have Graham freaking out, and the 22 points he put up certainly give him the right too. Not bad for a 9th round pick.

Bonehead Bench Move of the Week:

I’m giving this out to a losing team that could've won if he started a certain player. This week, it goes to Graham. Unfortunately for him, he had no real bench options, but CJ Spiller put up 9 more points than Forte and 7 more than Lacy. So, that would’ve helped a bit.

Bust of the Week:

Ladies and Gentlemen, your two time Bust of the Week CCHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN… Jamaal Charles. When Mark traded Lesean for this guy, he must of been thinki-wait a minute, I have no idea what he was thinking. Charles has put up 2 points in two games this season. Far out!

POWER RANKINGS

() indicates previous ranking, [] indicates the record.

1. (1) [2-0] Sons of Scotland

Well, who else? Pags rolled into this week amidst “Trade Rape” controversy and performed a textbook dropkick on Mark. Yea he only by 6 but to most of us, but he was able to redeem himself after being spanked in last years Battle for the Hardware. Yes, he relied heavily on the play of Jimmy Graham, his defense and his kicker, but 20 points from Arian Foster have showed that Foster is ready to be a consistent start for Pags. Although is 94 points from this week are a degrade from his 114 last week, don't worry. Things look bright for this team as they take on the 0-2 Man from San Fran. Just a little note from 2013, Pags started the season 4-0, and finished 1-5. But it is a new year… or is it?

2.  (2) [1-0] Dank Sinatra

Sams weekly Springsteen lyric explaining his team: “Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king, and a king ain't satisfied until he rules everything.” Let us think about that for a moment. Sam starts off struggling with Sam Wow and is a poor man, becomes rich after his draft performance, becomes King after getting commish powers and after beating Graham, and now he is out for one thing, the ring. After a strong bye week performance, he put Graham down and is moving onto bigger challenges. I asked him how he has managed to get rid of the struggle from last season, but he said “The Struggle and I have become one after last season.” That makes sense? Well, whatevs, he takes on the ones from Middle Earth Week 3.

3. (4) [0-1] The Fellowship of the Ring

Fly you fools. I have to say, “Evaluation Week” makes me feel a little better, as I got myself 126 points without my boy Adrian Peterson, which gives me faith when he get suspended in the coming weeks. I’m gonna get the most out of him while I can. Jordy, Dez and The Machine all put up solid numbers at the WR position while Morris showed promise. Now, I’m done touting about myself, but I just got one thing to say.

I know you all have no faith in him, But this Fall belongs to Ball.

4. (3) [1-1] Schmidt Happens

Shit Happens. Jamaal plays awful, two weeks straight… Should’ve kept McCoy ey? *Insert evil Pags laugh* And before you flip out about me being ranked higher than you, check the point totals pal. And we both lost to Pags, guess thats the one thing we have in common. So after Mark bolstered his entire roster by taking Pags’ stars, Pags gets the last laugh out of it all. Jamaal is hurt and has no O-Line, and Calvin Johnson is garbage who kills for money. KIDDING. Can’t you take a joke? Oh wait, no, you gave up your commish powers after I pulled a joke. God I am ripping Schmidt hard this week. Well Pags is ripping me in his segment so I guess I can do it to. Nah but in all seriousness, Schmidt will probably figure it out. Brown will do fine, Murray will do fine if he stays healthy so all is well. Far out!

5. (5) [0-2] Far Out!

Oh boy… If you thought Sams season last year, Graham has actually started off worse than Sam did in his first two games. When you look at it that way, your season looks dead. But Graham maybe just had an off week, it is too early in the season to tell who is the big guy. Remember what happened to Pags last year? Still almost went all the way but barely made the playoffs. So there ya go buddy! Just ride Bernard like a horse and you’ll be fine.

Game of the Week:

Dank Sinatra vs. The Fellowship of the Ring

Sam has never defeated me, and I kinda need to win this week. Big test for Sammy G, should be a good one.

Pags’ Corner:

I have grave news for the citizens of Sunday Funday, Running backs are god-awful this year. That’s right I said it, they suck, stink, blow, all of the above. Charles is a disgrace to the league, McCoy is only doing decently, Lynch didn’t show up this week and there is a strong possibility that Peterson will be playing against the warden soon enough. There is but one exception DeMarco Murray, a god walking amongst mere mortals. Putting up a whopping 20 points last week and then 19 points this week, which mind you are not show stoppers, but their far better than 3 and 0 produced by the second pick.

In other news I was almost suspended/thrown out of the league this weekend, and probably would have if commissioner Sam had his way, shout out to Britton. Id like to explain a few things to hopefully settle the score between me and the league. I was kinda offended that after I suggested the meeting Britton said that the “gentlemen” would not be going to the lunch. Then after all the shouting and resigning, Britton announced that the lunch was back on. Does that mean that when Britton says it everyone goes along with it? Well at that point I was so fed up with all the political bull shit getting thrown around I really didn’t want to sit at a table with you guys and hear it more. So in short its not you its me…. and you.

Quote Of The Week

"...I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?"

-       Jack Byrnes

PS. Rape is good