So as I sit here watching Schmidt, Pags, Sam and some other kid play Halo, while Proud Mary by the CCR plays, I realize why I do this. Nah, no deep stuff tonight. We’ll save that for when Graham contracts AIDS and reenacts the movie Philadelphia. One of my favorite movies by the way, probably cause the main character is gay, which I might be able to relate to. WWWHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTT???? I love screwing with you guys about my sexuality. You’ll figure it out when you get my wedding invitation, depending on if what I am doing is legal yet. Ha, more screwing with your minds. So, Fantasy Football?
No, not Fantasy Football. Cause now it is 11 in the morning and I am no longer doing what I was doing last night. Sike, let's get this done, I got a lot of homework to do.
1. (3) [2-0] Hanibal's Cannibals
So for I think the second time in history, Sam has started 2-0. This week he defeated me (congrats), putting up 88 points, which was the least among winning teams. Still, a win is a win. Now, he is faced with the task of taking on Thacher, which should be an intriguing matchup. Another thing that is interesting? Sam's starting lineup. Rodgers makes sense, Carlos Hyde, sure, AP yes, and yea, AJ Green is starting to figure things out. Aside from that, its a pretty risky lineup. Sam is starting James Jones, a guy who is the definition of hit or miss. He had one catch last week for a TD, giving Sam 8 points; Terrance Williams, the Cowboys #1 receiver until Dez returns, is also without a legit QB. Yet he still managed 14 points last week. Sam is playing the risk, and right now, I can't blame him, cause a 2-0 start is something I have never had.
2. (2) [1-0-1] Warrior Poets
Pags is slowly developing the leagues most deadly team. After releasing massive cap burden Calvin Johnson, Pags has been able to free up enough cap space to acquire cheap weapons to use week by week. Along with the return of his first round pick Le'Veon Bell, Pags has one of the best running back sets in the league. One worry I see though is the production of Marshawn Lynch, who has struggled as of late, but should be able to get back on track soon enough. Overall, expect Pags to make a legit playoff run this year and make his second Championship game appearance.
3. (4) [1-0-1] Bill Swerski's Ditka Volcano
Graham was able to defeat Schmidt this week, a feat he found way too impressive considering how unlucky Schmidt has been. Either way, Graham has been able to muster solid points the first two weeks of the year. It is surprising, due to such a mediocre performance from his top pick Andrew Luck, who has struggled mightily early on. Help from his running backs and receiver Brandon Marshall has been key, but may not last long due to the fact that Graham FACES ME IN THE THRILLA IN MANILA THIS WEEK.
4. (1) [1-1] Wet Dreams About Winning
Does Thacher even read this?
5. (6) [0-2] Just Bend Over: Part III
Schmidts early struggles are not a good thing for us. Prediction: Schmidt goes 9-3 the rest of the way and wins his third title. Schmidt hasn't found any production from his young receivers, and is still trying to figure out who his QB for the season will be. Once he is settled in, he'll be raising hell, and that starts this week against Pags. Also, Schmidt will win 4 titles in the next 10 years.
6. (5) [0-2] The People's Elbow
I was sorting things out the last two weeks. BUT NOT THIS WEEK BROTHER. CAUSE IM LOOKING AT YOU GRAHAM, YOU ALCOHOLIC SON OF A BITCH. LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU. I AM GOING TO LEGITIMATELY DESTROY YOU THIS WEEK. YOU KNOW WHAT IS FUNNY? YOU NEVER WINNING A THRILLA IN MANILA. I SLEEP WITH THE TROPHY, DO YOU REALIZE THAT? Here comes the pain train.
Week 3 Predictions:
Britton hits three People's Elbows to beat Graham.
Sam hits the RKO on Thacher, but Thacher kicks out. Sam resorts to a Punt to put him away.
Pags goes for the Brogue Kick. Schmidt dodges it, goes full Brock Lesnar and hits the F-5 for the victory.
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