Week 5 Recap

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Nah, I’ll save that for when we force Schmidt to watch those movies. Howdy! Good Morro! Far Out! I seem to be in a good mood even though I just dropped to 0-4. Ya, I’m still shocked but whatevs. Ya, and Sam is standing above the league like this after starting 4-0. But no one really cares anymore about you Sam, because this week we got a little something called THE THRILLA IN MANILA. Last year, I was able to take the series in a 2-2 win over Graham (won on total points) after the series was forced to a fourth game due to playoffs. This year however, there will only be two games scheduled (I am not making the playoffs at this point), so it will go down. I maybe 0-4 but there is no way I am losing my beloved Hardwood. So what am I going to do even though my team blows? This. ONTO THE RECAP.

Top Player of the Week:

Graham had been waiting awhile for this to happen, but Demaryius Thomas finally showed up after only producing 21 points in three games. Well he put up 34 this week alone, so Graham finally figured that one out. Far out!

Surprise Player of the Week:

Alright, tooting my own horn even though I lost. Expect it to happen a lot. Eddie Lacy decided to start playing hard right after he got traded to me. Good guy. 24 points in one night after only producing 21 in four games. Good stuff.

POWER RANKINGS

() indicates previous ranking, [] indicates the record.

1.  (1) [4-0] Dank Sinatra

So Sam once again got through to another win, putting him at 4-0 on the season. “I still think you are going to win Britton.” Funny Sam. You think it is funny but you have no idea what I just did that will not make you too happy. #Rise. Anyway, Sam enters a bye week as the top team in the league, standing at a high 4-0. I just want to point something out from last year. Pags started his season off with a similar streak, but managed to go 5-5. Let us see if Sam can pull this one off. Peyton Manning has done him wonders, but he continuously talks about playing a different QB. ARE YOU RETARDED?  Maybe he is, but he is undefeated and tries on scout team. That’s right, Sam tries on scout. Like I said earlier, Sam enters his bye week but will play Schmidt for the first time this year in Week 7. Good luck. Sam after seeing that.

2. (3) [2-2] Far Out!

Whoa! Once again only Graham read that correctly, but do not worry about that. ANYWAY, Graham just beat Schmidt. Ya, I’ll repeat it, Graham defeated Schmidt. The best part about it was that it wasn’t even close, Graham literally did this to Schmidt. Now, most of that win relied heavily on Schmidts team not showing up and the fact that Thomas and Grahams kicker combined for 55 points. That usually will not happen on a week to week basis. But hey, Graham is 2-2, doing his best to be mediocre. Now, Graham has to focus his attention to a Game 1 of the Thrilla in Manila. More on that later.

3. (2) [2-2] Schmidt Happens

So Schmidt had two guys decide it was not necessary to produce any points. Ya, Schmidt played an injured Calvin Johnson, I wouldn't have but who takes advice from the guy who hasnt even won a game? So sure, Schmidt had a bad week, don’t worry about it, he will still probably destroy us all in the end even though Sam thinks he’s hot stuff now. See Pags/Britton in 2013. Exactly. So Mark now gets to take on Pags in a game that really puts the winner in a great position and the loser in a pretty bad one, CAUSE I WILL COME BACK. Both teams are 2-2 with unlucky performances hindering their progress. I still think Schmidt has a good team, but with Charles on a bye this week, he will need to find another suitable replacement. I already know the one he is thinking off, but he is off the boards. Do not worry, he will figure it out.

4. (4) [2-2] Good Fellas

Pags started the week off on a bad note, after realizing that holding onto K Matt Prater for four weeks was pointless after he was cut on a suspension. But the real story is that Pags will finally get the chance to see if it was the name that sent him on that two loss spiral. I really do not think that was the reason, but we will learn. Pags is coming off a much needed bye week and now will play in a pivotal battle against Schmidt. If the Thrilla in Manila wasn’t happening, this would be game of the week, cause all I can picture right now is this being the game. Pags will have a good advantage with Arian Foster finally showing up, and hopes to continue to find success under newly acquired QB Philip Rivers.

Guess what? I am last in the power rankings. Nothing changed. It is a waste of time to trash myself while I drown in my own tears. So of course, I preview the Thrilla in Manila. But before that, I have some smack for Graham. You don't even get fresh milk in the morning!

Tale of the Tape

Categories	Graham	Britton
Series Wins	2	2
Series Losses	2	2
Series Points	382	433
All Time Record	7-7	9-6

Fratres! Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead! Brothers, what we do in life... echoes in eternity.