Week 6 Power Rankings

I'm too lazy to even think about doing a full recap. Long day, alright? I'll just make everyones power ranking longer except for mine, I don't even deserve one anymore. In fact, I'll start selling my only good player. Who wants Jordy Nelson?

1. (1) [4-0] Dank Sinatra
So Sam had a bye week, decided to mock me and call it Evaluation Week, and is now using his mob roots from the "Giorgio Family" to get more for trading McCoy. You know what, I am in no mood to write these. The reason it was fun last year was cause I was taking a poop on the rest of the league. What am I doing now? Bombing as a Fantasy team and bombing as a football player. Life struggles. Oh well, my job here is to entertain you guys, so I'll tell some stories inside of Sams power ranking. Who wants to know how Sam and I met? I met him on the strip three years ago, In a Camaro with this dude from L.A. I blew that Camaro off my back and drove that little Sam away.Sam only sang that in his head. Greatest song ever. Nah it didn't happen that way, I wish I did.

You know while I write this, Graham and Sam are going at it in the group chat. Far out!

2. (2) [3-2] Far Out!
Graham won game one of a certain series. Cool. Lets be honest, he won the whole series already. God, I am bitchy tonight. I whine more than a newborn baby. Kinda just figured out why Schmidt gets annoyed. Lawl. How did Graham and I meet? Eighth grade Spanish and Math. Terrible times, great year. Ya I sometimes wake up in the morning and literally believe I am still in middle school. Doesn't help that my current math teacher was a middle school teacher only a year ago. Pags knows. Hey Pags! You are probably not reading this after you realize this entire recap has nothing to do with fantasy football. Were still talking about Graham? eh.

Sam laughs at the way I drink water.

3. (4) [3-2] Good Fellas
So I could talk about the really stupid game Pags and Mark had, but screw that. Instead I am going to talk about Pags' dog. That thing is adorable. Like seriously, cutest thing ever. Let her know that Pags, your dog is fricken adorable. Orgin story of Pags and I? Frosh year, football/math class/lunch, don't really remember, kinda just happened. Remember that whole Amish period? That wasn't me, I swear. You know, the first thing I think about when Pags mentions his farm is Hershels Farm. Just letting you know when the Walkers rise (RISE), I am fricken bolting over to Pags' farm. Graham will unfortunately be with me, we are good at this whole farming thing, at least in Minecraft.

4. (2) [2-3] Schmidt Happens
It's funny cause Schmidt already has won the hardware this year. ANYWAY, what is there to talk about? Ah, ya, Mark. Big Reedo, if you even know who that is, asked me the other day why you are so big. Sam doesn't want to admit it, but stop using steroids. You will get AIDS, and you will die. You should teach Pags a thing or two about lifting I WAS JOKING PAGS DONT CUT MY TESTICLES OFF. Just a joke... We coo? Notice how I purposely removed the L from cool to make it sound black. Darien at its finest.

5.
Oh right I dont usually write anything about myself anymore after I realized how much I whine. I should learn how to play the piano. That would be awesome. You know what else would be awesome? WINNING A GAME. WAIT, I'm not gonna do this. Chillax.


Pags take the hardware in a rematch with Schmidt.