I’m back!!!! After a one week hiatus where I could literally not function due to injury, I am back and ready to deliver what the people want, because I am the people's champ. THE PEOPLES ELBOW!!!! Let’s get to it.
Surprise Player of the Week (Devante Freeman; 32 pts):
Yea, this segment is back after Sam requested it. Didn’t think you guys would miss it that much. Anyway, Devante Freeman had a monster week last week, but nobody expected him to do it again. He did it again, and unfortunately for Thacher, it is what put him down.
Player of the Week (Devante Freeman; 32 pts):
He scored the most, read above for what I think.
Power Rankings:
1. (3) [3-0-1] Bill Swerski’s Ditka Volcano
Graham grabbed a huge win against Sam this week, in a game that pitted the two undefeated teams against each other. Luckily for Graham, sam crapped the bed and put up 62 points, but still, Graham was able to put up a solid 90 points. Graham’s highest scorer put up a mere 13 points, but let’s take notice that 6/9 players put up double digit points for Graham’s squad. Also, his team should be 4-0, but Pags screwed that up with the whole tie thing back in week one. Even with #1 pick Andrew Luck struggling, Graham looks to be a serious contender when playoffs come by.
2. (1) [3-1] Hanibal’s Cannibals
Sam had a tough week, but that doesn’t mean his team is falling apart. Sure, 2nd round pick Jimmy Graham hasn’t done anything for Sam, but a pending trade to Schmidt may give his TE position new light. His weakness appears to be his bench, and RB Carlos Hyde. Way to talk him up after week one Sam. Really seems to be working out. Sorry babe didn’t mean that. We gotta be friends so that we can murder Schmidt on Sunday. Expect Sam to bounce back, as his QB/WR tandem is too good to mess with.
3. (5) [2-2] Just Bend Over: Part III
Here we go. Schmidt started terrible and now look what is happening. After three weeks of “Schmidting”, Mark owns a team that has the potential to be terrifying. However, a lot of his players appear to be hit or miss plays, so let us just hope everyone on his team dies so someone else can win for once.
4. (2) [1-2-1] Warrior Poets
After a miraculous tie and a win over Thacher, Pags has dropped two straight to Mark and myself. Honestly, you have to notice that his RB situation after Le’Veon Bell isnt good since Lynch is sucking wind, but his WR’s are all around solid players. Unfortunately, those guys struggled hard this week, which caused the close lose for Pags. Also, anyone else find it funny that whenever Pags plays Eifert he sucks, but when he doesn’t he is amazing? Expect Pags to bounce back, I can still see this team making the playoffs.
5. (6) [1-3] The People’s Elbow
I WON A GAME. SHIP OR BUST BABY.
6. (4) Wet Dreams About Winning
Thacher’s team is struggling.
Week 5 Predictions:
Mark vs. Britton
Mark dominates Britton the entire match. It appears as if Schmidt is about to hit the F-5 to finish Britton, BUT BRITTON COUNTERS WITH A ROCK BOTTOM. OH MY GOD, HE IS SETTING IT UP. THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT, THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW. I win.
Pags vs. Graham
Pags is starting off strong, but Graham comes out of nowhere with a massive drop kick. WHAT IS THIS? GRAHAM IS CLIMBING TO THE TOP ROPE. HE IS LOOKING FOR THE SWANTON BOMB! HE JUMPS INTO THE AIR… OH MY GOD PAGS WITH A BROGUE KICK OUT OF NOWHERE. Pags pulls off the massive upset this week.
Sam vs. Thacher
The bell rings, Thacher takes the first swing BUT AN RKO OUT OF NOWHERE FOR SAM. He goes for the cover! 1… 2… WAIT A MINUTE SAM STOPPED THE PIN. WHAT’S HE DOING? OH MY GOD HE IS SETTING UP THE PUNT! HOLY SHIT HE JUST PUNTED THACHER. THIS ONE IS OVER. WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE IT LOOKS LIKE SAM IS GETTING A TABLE. OH MY GOD AN RKO THROUGH THE TABLE. Sam murders Jack this week.
Oh yea, by the way. You think your team is gonna win at LB Fight Night Schmidt? WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING GUYINA. NOTHING MEANS NOTHING… AND THE TEAM OF SAMMY G, GUTTUSO AND I ARE GONNA RISE TO THE TOP, CAUSE WERE THE CREAM OF THE CROP YEA. Fuck you.
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