Graham vs. Thacher (No Disqualifications)

Jack Thacher is no doubt the hottest thing going on in Sunday Funday right now, but has failed to find his identity in the ring, which is also affecting Graham. Both should deliver a quality match-up though. Let’s see who comes out first.

Graham's Entrance:

Thachers Entrance:

Well we just learned how awesome Thacher is now. So here we go as the opening bell rings, Graham and Thacher both looking alright this season, but the latter has been superb as of late BUT GRAHAM WITH A FURY OF PUNCHES THAT HAS CAUGHT THACHER OFF GUARD. GRAHAM BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES LOOKING FOR SOME MOMENTUM BUT THACHER CAUGHT HIM WITH A POP UP POWERBOMB. THACHER WITH THE COVER! 1… 2… KICKOUT BY GRAHAM.

What a sequence of events from these two competitors, as Thacher starts pic-OH MAN. SWEET CHIN MUSIC TO THACHER. GRAHAM CAN'T CRAWL TO THE COVER THOUGH HE IS OUT OF BREATHE. GRAHAM SLOWLY CRAWLING TO THE COVER. 1… 2… OH AND A KICKOUT. What a match so far, as both men get up. Graham takes a swing at Thacher BUT THACHER HITS A SAMOAN DROP. THACHER IS NOW CLIMBING THE ROPES, HE IS LOOKING FOR HIS FINISHER. THACHER FROM THE TOP ROPE. COUP DE GRACE FROM THACHER. THACHER LOOKING TO TAKE THE VICTORY. 1… 2… *Lesnar Music Plays* WHAT? OH NO HERE COMES SCHMIDT. SCHMIDT IS LOOKING FOR REVENGE AFTER LAST WEEK'S EMBARRASSING LOSS TO THACHER. REMEMBER THIS IS A NO DQ MATCH, ANYTHING GOES. SCHMIDT GRABS THACHER AND A GERMAN SUPLEX TO THACHER. OH MAN AND ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX, NOW GRAHAM IS HELPING WITH THE BEATDOWN OF THACHER. SCHMIDT HAS THACHER UP FOR THE F-5, THIS CANNOT BE G-*DX Music Plays* WWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT? IT CAN’T BE. IT CAN’T BE. OH MY GOD HERE COMES BRITTON AND SAM. NO FRICKEN WAY. THE MOST DYNAMIC TAG TEAM IN SUNDAY FUNDAY IS HERE TO SERVE UP SOME JUSTICE, BUT GRAHAM AND SCHMIDT ARE STANDING TALL. WE’VE GOT OURSELF A STAND OFF. OH HERE WE GO. BARTHOLD IS IN THE RING AND IS LAYING THE SMACKDOWN ON GRAHAM. NOW HERE COMES SAM AND HE IS ATTACKING SCHMIDT. GRAHAM IS TRYING TO COUNTER BRITTON BUT ITS NOT WORKING BECAUSE HE JUST RECEIVED A ROCK BOTTOM. OH BUT WATCH OUT SCHMIDT HAS SAM UP FOR THE F-5, HERE WE GO. OH MAN BUT BARTHOLD KICKS SCHMIDT RIGHT IN THE NUTS AND GIVES HIM THE CROTCH CHOP. SCHMIDT IS STAGGERING TO HIS FEET, AND BRITTON PUSHES HIM STRAIGHT INTO AN R-K-O. THACHER IS BACK IN THE RING WITH GRAHAM. HERE'S THE COVER. 1… 2… 3! THACHER WITH ANOTHER WIN. WHAT A CRAZY MATCH.

Sam vs. Pags

Now we're supposed to have a matchup between Sam and Pags but it appears as if Pags will not be making an appearance for the second week in a row, although he did deliver that cryptic message to Schmidt last week. It looks like Sam will get the forfeit win, which is ki-*Lesnar Music Hits* Oh no, here comes Schmidt, and what is this? Schmidt has a group of 5 sophomore goons walking with him to the ring. This cannot be good for Sam. Schmidt and his goons have surrounded the ring AND NOW THEY ARE ATTACKING SAM. SAM IS TRYING TO FIGHT BACK BUT IT'S TO NO AVAIL. SCHMIDT AND HIS GOONS HAVE SAM DOWN AND OUT AND NOW SCHMIDT IS LAUGHING.

Schmidt is ordering one of the goons to pick up Sam BUT SAM WITH AN RKO OUT OF NOWHERE. OH MY GOD ANOTHER RKO TO THE OTHER GOON. MOTHER OF GOD ANOTHER RKO. SWEET BABY JESUS SAM HITS ANOTHER RKO. GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY ONE MORE RKO, SAM HAS JUST TAKEN OUT ALL OF SCHMIDT'S GOONS BUT SCHMIDT PICKS HIM UP AND HITS A GERMAN SUPLEX. OH MY GOD ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX, AND ANOTHER. HERE WE GO, SCHMIDT WITH AN F-5. THE GOONS HAVE RECOVERED AND HAVE CONTINUED BEATING DOWN ON SAM, AND IT LOOKS LIKE THEY ARE GETTING STEEL CHAIRS NOW TO PUNISH SAM. THIS CANNOT BE GOOD. OH MY GOD SCHMIDT IS STACKING THE CHAIRS UP, AND SCHMIDT NOW HITS AN F-5 ON SAM ON TOP OF THE CHAIRS. SCHMIDT IS NOW MOCKING PAGS’ SIGNATURE TAUNT, AND IS CALLING THE DEADMAN OUT. I DON'T THINK SCHMIDT WANTS TO STOP WITH THE DESTRUCTION, HE IS PICKING SAM UP FOR ANOTHER F-5, SOMEONE STOP H-*The Rocks Music Plays* OH MY. BARTHOLD IS COMING DOWN. THE GREAT ONE IS COMING TO THE AIDE OF HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER. REMEMBER, SCHMIDT AND BARTHOLD HAVE A MATCH LATER TONIGHT. BUT BARTHOLD DOESN'T CARE AND HE IS NOW BRAWLING HARD WITH SCHMIDT AND HIS POSEY. BRITTON IS SWINGING AT ANYTHING THAT MOVES AND HERE COMES SECURITY TO BREAK IT UP. MY GOOD GOD THANKFULLY THEY STOPPED SCHMIDT BEFORE HE COULD DO MORE DAMAGE TO SAM, BUT I THINK HE WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE A POINT TO PAGS.

Schmidt vs. Britton

So after that incredible brawl, Schmidt and Britton are set for one on one action. Schmidt still has his goons out here, though they are sitting at ringside, probably to protect Schmidt incase anyone tries to interfere. Here is the opening bell AND BARTHOLD IS COMING OUT WITH LEFT HANDS TO SCHMIDT. THE PEOPLE’S CHAMP IS BRINGING IT TO SCHMIDT. THE BRAHMA BULL IS COMPLETELY DISREGARDING SCHMIDT'S BRAHMA BULLSHIT, AND IS TAKING THE BIG MAN DOWN EARLY. OH MAN, BRITTON GOING FOR A ROCK BOTTOM EARLY BUT SCHMIDT COUNTERS WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX. THIS CANNOT BE GOOD FOR BRITTON. OH MY GOD ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX, AND ANOTHER. I THINK BRITTON MIGHT BE UNCONSCIOUS. SCHMIDT IS NOW PICKING UP BRITTON FOR AN F-5, AND THROWS HIM UP BUT BRITTON LANDS IT AND HITS A ROCK BOTTOM. A ROCK BOTTOM. OH MY GOD BRITTON WITH THE COVER. 1… 2… OH AND A KICKOUT. BRITTON ALMOST UPSET SCHMIDT RIGHT THERE, AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING.

Schmidt is now getting up, and Britton is looking to continue his offensive attack BUT SCHMIDT DROPS BRITTON WITH A HUGE SCOOP SLAM. SCHMIDT NOW HAS BARTHOLD UP. THIS TIME, THE F-5 CONNECTS. HERE'S THE COVER. 1… 2… OH AND A KICKOUT. IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE POWER OF THE PEOPLE THAT KEPT BRITTON ALIVE THERE. SCHMIDT THOUGH ISN’T DONE. HE IS GOING FOR ANOTHER F-5 AND CONNECTS. *Bell Tolls* *Lights STAY on* WHAT? Schmidt is looking up the ramp, Schmidt looks terrified right now! Schmidt is still lo-OH BUT BARTHOLD, BARTHOLD, BARTHOLD WITH A ROCK BOTTOM. ROCK BOTTOM. ROCK BOTTOM. COVER. 1… 2… OH BUT SCHMIDTS GOONS ARE IN THE RING AND ATTACKING BRITTON. THE REF IS CALLING FOR THE BELL AS THIS ONE IS OVER, BUT SCHMIDT AND HIS GOONS ARE TAKING OUT THE PEOPLES CHA-*Crow Caws* *Lights Out*

*Lights back on* OH MY GOD. SCHMIDT'S GOONS ARE GONE. THEY’VE COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED. WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? SCHMIDT IS LOOKING AROUND COMPLETELY SHOCKED AN-*Bell Tolls*

*Only a single circular light shines on Schmidt in the ring* WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW? THE LIGHTS ARE OFF, BUT A SINGLE FLOOD LIGHT IS ON SCHMIDT. *Crow Caws* Smoke is filling the ring AND SOMETHING JUST EMERGED FROM THE DARKNESS. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? THE FIGURE JUST CHOKESLAMMED SCHMIDT! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING. THAT WAS NOT HUMAN. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT. THE LIGHTS ARE BACK ON, BRITTON ISN’T IN THE RING, THE REF IS GONE TOO.

Schmidt is laying down on the ring, I really don’t know what just happened there. A figure emerged from the ring, and by God that thing did not look human to me. Schmidt is completely at a lo-*Lights go out* What Now!?!?!

OH MY GOD IT'S SAM. THIS IS A DIFFERENT SAM THOUGH, THIS IS NOT THE OLD SAM,  BUT HE IS MAKING A STUNNING ENTRANCE RIGHT NOW, AND IS MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING. Sam is Schmidt’s opponent next week, but what could he want? Sam is now in the ring, AND HE GRABS A HELPLESS SCHMIDT AND HITS SISTER ABIGAIL ON SCHMIDT. SAM IS CYNICALLY LAUGHING, THIS IS A MAN YOU DO NOT WANT TO MESS WITH FROM NOW ON. ALL IN ALL, THE LANDSCAPE OF SUNDAY FUNDAY HAS DRASTICALLY CHANGED AFTER TONIGHT. *Bell Tolls* *Lights Out* WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW? *Bell Tolls* *Lights Back On* HOLY HELL SCHMIDT AND SAM ARE GONE FROM THE RING!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? SWEET JESUS THIS IS CREEPY. IF SAM AND SCHMIDT CAN HEAR ME, GO WITH GOD, LET HIM BE WITH YOU.

*Crow Caws* *Titantron Lights Up While rest of Arena goes Dark*

Titantron Reads:

God’s gonna sit this one out.

*Crow Caws*